Help Resources.Net Blog

So I find myself being very melancholy lately, which is not a mood I normally find myself in, and really don’t like much. I have always cared about others, trying to help those around me. This was something that was taught to me by my adoptive parents, who just happened to be my grand parents.

 Growing up in such an older home, just instilled a little bit different values as a whole I think. Now I don’t want to come off as a pristine individual, that walks on water. I have made more than my share of stupid decisions in my life, and have regrets in my life as well. But I think most people can say that, anyone that has walked the face of this planet for any amount of time at least.

But in all of life’s trials and tribulations I have always tried to show caring for family, friends and complete strangers. Perhaps that was my way of trying to make up for my imperfections, and some of those afore mentioned “stupid decisions”. And I have tried very hard to instill those values in my children, while teaching them from my mistakes as well so that they may not make the same decisions.

I was never a “wild child”, didn’t get into drugs or anything like that. In fact, one might say I lived a somewhat sheltered life. To a degree.

 I have found myself second guessing this little endeavor that I have done here, at helpresources.net. I have had the honor of helping out several folks, and a few families. And this has really made this experience so worth while.

 But what I have found is that so many people want, and don’t ever think of giving. Primarily businesses and organizations. I have committed an incalculable amount of time to help promote help organizations, and in fact have even taking of my time and skills (limited as they may be) to develop, host and maintain some sites for a few organizations. Because they did not have internet presences.

 And during this past year and month or so, I have received one fifty dollar donation towards my site. I know, its going to sound like I am one of those money grubbing folks, and that really tears me up. Because I am not. But when I look all the organizations I have worked so hard on trying to promote and help out, I find only even a small handful that even felt that it was worth their time to put up a link back to my site with a little note of thanks. And when I say a handful, I mean I can count it on one hand. Much less a monetary donation.

 I guess what I am trying to get at, is that there just doesn’t seem to be much importance put on saying thanks. Or acknowledging those that try to help. They are more than happy, to receive the free publicity, that others work so hard to provide. But after the head bobbing is done, that’s it, they are finished.

 I understand what being on a budget is, trust me on that one. Something that most don’t realize is that I have been on unemployment for quite some time. But during this whole time, while looking actively for work, I have tried my best to continue to help others. Up until just recent, as I have started to get a bit disassociated from the whole thing.

 So I find myself at a cross roads. I had recently come to a tough decision of selling the url/site because of my financial state, and then decided no. It was more important to tighten my belt and try to keep it working. So have continued to foot the bill for the site etc…

 What has discouraged me through this whole thing, is that there still is no gratefulness for what I have done. Yeah, I guess at this point I am fishing for some “kudos” of some sort. But I have to ask myself, why am I doing this? And I guess I have lost the answer to that question.

 So I will give it a short amount of time, and see what the replies are to a few queries I have made to a few of the places I have worked on helping out. And depending on what I get back as a response from them, this site may continue to exist or it may not. I guess only time will tell.

 Not even sure if anyone will be reading this, or will even care. But I guess I just needed to take some time and vent a bit.